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The Pastoral Lens
Solitary Refinement
Tuesday, March 8, 2005
What is the first thing that comes to your mind when I say the word "solitude"? Do you get a vision of a monk sequestered somewhere in a cave, or a prisoner in a cell, or a widow in an empty livingroom? These are all distinct possibilities, of course, but I would like to suggest something else. The Scriptures portray a Saviour praying to His Father. In Mark 1:35, it says this: "And in the early morning, while it was still dark, He arose and went out and departed to a lonely place, and was praying there." Jesus sought times of solitude, away from the crowds that thronged Him, to have communion with the Father.I was visiting a terminally ill man in the hospital last summer. During the course of our conversation I felt prompted to ask James (not his real name) what he thought about during those long hours alone on his hospital bed. At first he didn't really respond, but then I asked if perhaps his mind drifted to notions about God. He quickly replied, "Yes!" He admitted to me that the solitude of his situation lent itself to contemplation about God. During his healthy years he lived a very frenetic life, working long hours to get ahead. He was very successful at his work, too, and had many accomplishments to show for it. He worked well past the normal age of retirement, absorbed in his work. He was not one to sit around when there was something to be done, and his avocational pursuits picked up where his vocational pursuits left off. Yet here he was, alone and dying, laying for hours on this hospital bed with no appointment to get to, no meeting to attend. Finally, God's still, small voice could be heard. What had been muted out for years in the "hurry" and "worry" of anxious life, now at last sprang through the fallow ground of life that made no room for God... until now. My conversation that day with James would prove to be my last significant one as his health deteriorated and regular injections of morphine quenched further verbal communication. I am left wondering what he learned from God during those long hours in the hospital.
Why are we so afraid of being alone? I often joke with people that I have never been alone. I shared a womb with my twin brother; then we shared a room; then I married and am sharing again. Caregivers will testify that a chief component of their job is providing companionship for those they care for. As a pastor who visits shut-ins on a regular basis, I understand the need for people to desire relationship with others and not be alone. Nevertheless, I have also found that there is much to be gained if we can learn the discipline of spending time alone... with God. There is something profoundly refreshing and uplifting about communing with God, but this oasis is often out of reach because of the dry, barren wilderness of busyness in my life. I know how invigourating it is for my soul to wait "in silence for God only" (Psalm 62:1), yet the tyranny of the next meeting, the next appointment, the next sermon, drives me into pertual motion, and it is this perpetual motion that insulates me from the true rest that God desires for me, his child.
I don't know what you're doing with your life right now, but I can say this, that if things are too crowded for God it's time for some spring cleaning. How can the One who has a plan for our life and direction to give ever impart that to us if we don't stop long enough to listen to His voice? I would encourage you today to take some time to slow down and listen for God's voice. Read a psalm, meditating on its message, and then sit in quietness before God to hear from Him. You may be surprised at what He tells you. Have a blessed week!
