cktimes.ca Archives for The Pastoral Lens
The Pastoral Lens
Holidays, Children, and Missing My Dad
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
I had the great pleasure of spending my Civic holiday at the home of my older brother and his wife. Each summer they host a pool party and bar-b-que for the extended family on my father's side. It is such a good time! My sister-in-law always serves acres of food and the pool is a hot-bed of activity, especially with the children. We are generally the last family to leave, and this year was no exception. Having days like this one reinforces my convictions about the importance of spending time with family.One neat thing that happened for me this year was that I got into a couple of good conversations with family members whom I rarely get the chance to talk to in a personal way. Usually, I'm in the pool for a bulk of the time, horsing around with the kids and/or playing pool volleyball with my brothers and my nephews. While others are off in lawn chairs talking and enjoying the shade, I'm doing other stuff. It's not that I don't like to sit down and chat, but most conversation here seems to revolve around sports and job-related stuff. This year, however, was different.
My first conversation was with my Uncle Bob from Winnipeg. He hasn't visited Windsor in 10 years, so it was a treat to see him and my Aunt Vicki at the party. As I was manning the grill, he came over to talk. When I was growing up, Uncle Bob was a strict man who didn't seem to have time for kids. We were quite intimidated by him, in fact. However, time has mellowed him considerably and he is a different man now. He asked me questions about my church work, and about my family. We also chatted about his involvement in his own church in Winnipeg and how things are going there. My sister, Holly, also joined us for the conversation. It was an enjoyable time of discussing "real" issues, instead of the custumary sports rap. I have longed for years to have these kinds of conversations with Uncle Bob, but circumstances just never seemed to work out. However, today's time together was just what my heart was longing for with him.
Later in the day, after supper, I got engaged in deep conversation with Holly's husband, Jim. You must understand that Jim is not a man of many words, and especially when it comes to the personal side of things. He feels safe with talk of world events, or stock car racing, but spiritual or personal matters are usually out. However, on this day, the exception would be the rule. We started talking about our fathers. Jim's dad died very suddenly of a massive heart attack at the age of 56. Jim was only 20 at the time (he is about 65 now), but his memory of his dad is quite vivid. He told of how there have been many times over the years that he has thought of him and that it brought a tear to his eye. Jim's father never knew my sister Holly. They began dating after his untimely death. Jim's 4 children, and now 2 grandchildren (with one on the way) never had this bond with their grandfather. I shared how my dad, who also died suddenly of a massive heart attack, would have loved spending time with my children. Unlike Jim's situation, though, my dad knew my wife because we were already dating for 3 years before he passed away. Nevertheless, there have been so many, many occasions when I have thought of my dad and wished so badly that he could be here. Family times are so precious and are meant to be shared with those you love.
I came away from the bar-b-que feeling so blessed to have my family and being able to share time with them. I am grateful for these memory-making holidays which add such flavour and zest to the life I already enjoy. God is a God of relationship and it is He that provides such aromatic spice to the seasons of our lives. When God is at the centre of our lives, He can make all relationships savoury and enjoyable.
As we consider how to spend these last 4 weeks of summer, let's consider what the Lord would want for us. He knows best and can multiply the blessing to whatever choices we make. So, fire up the grill, get your bathing suit on, and have a few more gatherings with your family and extended family. When you look over the pictures from summer at your Christmas gathering you'll be glad for the time well spent.
