cktimes.ca Archives for That's Sports
That's Sports
Cruel and Unusual Punishment
Tuesday, January 7, 2003
Murderers, rapists and thieves that sit in jail have it pretty good in comparison to some people. These convicts have committed crimes against others that are sometimes so violent people don't wish to talk about them. The convicts still get three meals per day prepared by a local restaurant or a staff chef, and many other perks including television, computers, education, fitness machines and weights. Prisoners also get lots of time to themselves and some peace and quiet with very few people bothering them.The question I have is this, Why do minor sports coaches have to put up with so much cruel and unusual punishment? I know I have written on this subject before but it just keeps getting uglier and uglier. I spoke with some parents the other day that have kids on a travel team in Chatham that were telling me about a fiasco that has consumed the team.
They have a small group of parents that are being aggressive, rude and obnoxious. The best words to describe the actions of these parents are selfish, destructive and stupid.
The scenario is as follows, these parents have exploded on the coaching staff of this team. They say that their child is being treated unfairly because the player is on the "third line" of this hockey team. The child's parents have accosted the coaching staff on several occaissons with heavy verbal assaults including obscenities. This has happened in front of the kids and other parents. They are accusing the coaches of unfair treatment of their child.
What are the basis of these accusations you ask? Well it boils down to the fact that the child in question is on the third line of the team and has also missed a shift or two in close games in tournament action because they aren't one of the more skilled players on the team. The parents seem to think that they can attack the coaching staff without repercussions. These parents have to be held accountable for their actions.
The ironic part of this story is that these parents have had the same run ins with several other coaches and are setting a pattern that is hurting their own child. Tell me who would want to deal with those parents all year, yelling and screaming throughout the game and after the game. I sure wouldn't. It gets to the point that coaches would rather endure a few days of abuse by cutting the kid than a whole season of abuse and accusations.
Twenty years ago things would have been much different. I remember hearing stories about a coach that would hang his players upside down by their skates until they apologized for their behaviour. It was never about the play but how the kids acted on and off the ice. If the player was disresepctful to a coach, parent or official he would "hang".
I had one coach who I'm pretty sure coached hockey to vent his frustractions from work . I remember getting the blade of a stick across the butt when I wasn't skating hard. I took this as a wake up call and put out some more effort. I never dreamed of calling a lawyer. I took benchings and other disciplinary actions as a wake up call to get off my butt and work harder.
Parents never really got too involved in the political aspect of the game, although I was cut from one team because one brother was a better player than I was but the father said "either take both kids or none neither".
I cried when I was cut but I ended up having more fun that year than I've ever had playing hockey. My father told me that would happen in life and he consoled me but also told me to pick myself up and move on. I did and never looked back. My father didn't yell and scream at the coach or file a lawsuit.
Steps have to be taken to stop this abuse by parents or nobody will ever want to coach minor hockey again. A town in Florida has all parents of minor sports sign a waiver stating that parents will not interfere with the way a team is run or will not yell at officials, other parents of players. If they break this agreement then they will be suspended according to the offense. The time of suspension could range from one week to a full season -- I'm talking about the parents being suspended. They are not allowed to come to any practices or games. The most severe punishment is that the child is removed from the team without reimbursement.
One coaching staff in Chatham-Kent has actually put together an 11-page booklet for the parents describing what they would do for the year with a list of tournaments and even a directory of every arena in the league. They also asked the parents and kids to sign a form with some abuse and harrasemnt policies to make sure everyone understood how the team would be operated.
What a great idea! It's nice to see coaches that care enough to take the time to help the parents like this. Maybe all Minor Hockey leagues should adopt this policy or something like it.
Stratford has a sign as you enter their arena stating that parents will be ejected for yelling at coaches, players, officials or other parents. Obviously yelling "Go Team!", "Hooray" or "Good Job" are not what they are talking about. They will eject parents for yelling obscenities or derogatory remarks.
Maybe Chatham-Kent should adopt this policy for all of our arenas.
I know the same stuff goes on in all of the other local centres at one time or another. Parents don't want to admit that thier child is not the best on the team but there comes a time when that determination will be made.
These coaches volunteer their time and actually pay to coach. A great deal of money comes right out of their pocket, including clinics and seminars. Who in their right mind would want to pay to be abused by someone that you are actually trying to help?
The other option is to use the U.S. philosophy. In some organizations it costs $5,000-$10,000 per year for the child and the coaches get a large salary ranging from $35,000-$50,000 for putting up with some of the abuse. The parents, on the other hand, have made a considerable investment and do not wish to have that thrown away when their children are kicked off the team, so they behave themselves.
I still think the best way for parents to get involved is to help out and be supportive. Back your coaches and don't chastise them for making tough decisions. I know that it rests hard on some coaches when they have to make a decision to sit a kid at a crucial time. I think it should be as inexpensive as possible for the parents because everyone knows that incidental costs mount up and it is expensive enough.
The bottom line that I keep preaching is that "THIS IS ALL ABOUT THE KIDS." Please let the kids have fun. I was in the dressing room of two different teams on the weekend and all of the kids were happy and smiling. They had no problems with ice time. They were happy to be with their friends and happy to win the games.
I even see it closer to home as I have two brothers coaching hockey and they too have parents that complain about ice time and what line their kids are on.
Parents should leave their snide remarks and complaints in their heads and let their kids have fun. I sometimes wonder if children aren't more mature about these matters than the parents. It's a team situation and kids know that sometimes you take one for the team. If that means sitting an extra shift so be it.
It's not about the parents -- it's about the kids having fun and enjoying themselves.
Parents should put their stop watches away, leave their bad attitudes at the door and go to games for the kid's sake. Support your kids and their coaches and it will be much more enjoyable for you, the other fans, and everybody involved.
Gary Patterson was born and raised in Chatham-Kent. He grew up in Thamesville and now lives in Chatham. Patterson was Sports Director at Beaver Communications an Blackburn Radio for over 15 years. Gary is also the track announcer at Dresden Raceway as well as some appearances at Windsor Raceway. He has played all sports inclduing being a mermber of three OBA Championship baseball teams in Thamesville and has also played hockey and football. Gary still plays golf, slo-pitch and ball hockey and well as the odd game of pick up hockey. Patterson is a passionate Miami Dolphin and Michigan Wolverine football fan. Here are few other details about Gary Patterson: Favourite food: steak, chicken wings, chili or Kenny Tharp\'s famous meatloaf; Favourite non alcoholic drink : Diet Coke; Favourite drink: Scotch, Coor\'s Light; Favourite Sports team : Miami Dolphins/Michigan Wolverines/New York Yankees; Favourite Bar : Bru\'s Room Margate Florida/Pompano Beach Florida; Favourite Bartender : Tanya (Margate), Sarah (Pompano); Favourie Vacataion spot : Pompano Beach Florida; Marital Staus : married with chilren Hockey player : Curtis Jospeh/Todd Bertuzzi; Favourite Football player : Retired Dan Marino, Anthony Thomas; Favourite Basketball player : Steve Nash Favourite Baseball player : Derek Jeter; Favourite colour : Blue; Favourite TV Show : CSI Favourite movie : The Sting, Blue Brothers and Field of Dreams; Favourite song Life Been Good To Me ( Joe Walsh); Favourite Band : Tom Petty/Eagles; Favourite type of Dog: Springer Spaniel; Favourite type of Cat : NONE
