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Notes from a Garage

With John Gardiner

Living science fiction; Court of the Crimson King; and Bell Canada….

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Well, the holidays are over for another year and we’re off into 2010. I, of course, will have trouble getting used to the new year and the new decade. And that’s because I don’t adapt easily to change. And these days, I find it harder than ever because I feel like I’m living in the middle of a science fiction movie. I mean all this computer stuff and iPods and cell phones and the war on terror and full body scanning at airports – this is real science fictiony stuff for sure. Remember, I started life without a TV – I still can’t figure out how they get those little people inside of radios and TVs, so you can imagine how I’m doing with computers. Pure black magic to me. But I muddle along. Over Christmas, my 35-year-old Hitachi stereo receiver finally blew up. And you might have thought it was time to upgrade the old music system a little. But, no, instead I headed for a trusty pawn shop and bought a 20-year-old stereo receiver to replace my 35-year-old one. And that’s a big jump in technology for me. I also turned 57 over the holidays and have come to understand that there’s no turning back. But for most of us old or nearly old guys, it’s turned into a bewildering and confusing place. I am finding out what all previous generations have learned as they have aged. The only constant in the world is change…..Anyway, I would love to be able to come back to Planet Earth after a couple of hundred years to see how it all turns out….see where all this science fiction stuff is headed…..now that would be an interesting trip….

Speaking of my new/old stereo, I have, of course, been in heaven rediscovering my vinyl collection. And the very first record I pulled from the collection to try on the new stereo was King Crimson’s Court of the Crimson King, a wonderful piece of progressive rock from the year 1969. One of my favourite songs on the LP is called “21st Century Schizoid Man” and both the title and the lyrics are completely prophetic – it is uncanny how the band seemed to be able to look forward into 2010 and see where we’d be….one of the lyrics even says, “Nothing he’s got he really needs”….couldn’t that be said about most of us. We have so much stuff we really don’t need it’s sort of pathetic….But then there were a lot of prophets among the songwriters of the 1960’s and 1970’s. Think Pink Floyd, Genesis….most of the progressive rock bands of that era….and a whole lot of folk singers. Anyway, if you want to hear some great music…..take a stroll back to the era when vinyl was king and listen to some of those great tunes……Wow…..

Another business I have to deal with on a regular basis has started using one of those electronic answering machines, so now I have to choose my options when I call instead of getting to talk to a person….and, man, does that make my blood boil. I hate those gall-darned things more than I can tell you. In fact, I’ve never met a single, solitary person who has the least bit of love for them. So, it begs the question: What business in its right mind would deliberately use a piece of machinery that annoys their customers. Indeed, I thought the customer was always right. Apparently, this old axiom has gone the way of the dodo bird. In fact, it’s kind of ironic. Bell Canada is considered to be the largest communications company in the country…and the business practice it’s absolutely worst at is communications. I do not know a single person who looks forward to calling Bell about a problem they’re having. That’s because you just know you’re going to get totally lost in an answering service and bureaucratic bungle that will bring you to your knees. The last time my wife had dealings with Bell, I called our lawyer to see if I’d have a case if she had a stroke or heart attack dealing with them. Strange, but true. Yup, everybody hates dealing with a company that has an automated answering service. But the companies don’t care. And we keep lining up to take more abuse. What a world! And you likely didn’t read that here first……

Well, back for another week with Notes From a Garage and continuing to soldier on…and I will get used to it. Remember, this is the only life you get and do your best…..and remember….Hew to the line; let the chips fall where they may.



John Gardiner is a 25-year-veteran of the community newspaper business, but he is also a prolific writer of moralistic short fiction he refers to as "emotional thoughtscapes" or "adult fables". Samples of his fiction can be found at:

He has also produced a noteworthy piece of humanist philosophy which can be found at: http://www.xs4all.nl/~aboiten/ad502.htm He welcomes comments on his work.