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Notes from a Garage

With John Gardiner

Why I’ve been lying low; and warp drive……

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Well, I’m sitting here with new teeth this morning…..in fact, I’ve had my new permanent teeth since last Friday, when I traveled to Windsor to have what had become a serious health issue for me corrected. A severe phobia to all things dentist, a type of genetic gum disease and my smoking had created the perfect dental storm in my mouth…..at 57 years of age, the teeth I was born with were toast. And as anyone who has known me for the last number of years can attest, my teeth have been toast for quite a while. I had reached the point where I was considering wandering off into the woods to become a hermit and living on nothing but soup. I could hardly eat any more – couldn’t bite anything – no sandwiches and no burgers – and had only one tiny area of the rest of my mouth where I could chew. It was a most desperate situation and one that was almost certainly threatening my life. Then one morning on the A-Channel, I saw an advertisement for the Bardgett Denture Clinic that promised a full new set of permanent teeth in one day. And I thought that no matter my severe fear of dentists, I might be able to manage a single day of terror to have the problem with my teeth fixed once and for all. I called them and last Friday I went through a revolutionary procedure in Windsor with Oral Surgeon Dr. Norman Highton and Dr. Tom Bardgett where all of my remaining teeth were removed, implants were installed in my jaw and new teeth were fitted into my mouth. Although I had a few rocky moments following the surgery, by Saturday morning I was eating and smiling with my awesome new teeth. There was no bruising, very little swelling and almost no pain, just a little discomfort. I helped my wife open the pool on Sunday, although in a somewhat limited capacity, but I appear to be basically fine. I spent nine hours in Dr. Highton’s chair and can’t remember any of it – even though I was apparently conscious and “with it” throughout the surgery. Man, those were some good drugs….very powerful stuff. But, afterward, I had no need for any heavy duty pain killers, although I’ve been taking a regimen of antibiotics to stave off infection. And it has been a miracle for me…..and I’ll tell you why. On Saturday morning, right after the operation, my daughter and my grandchildren came over to see my new teeth and check up on me. And for the very first time, I was able to smile at my grandchildren and not feel profoundly embarrassed because of my teeth. Because as embarrassed as I’ve been in many, many situations over the years because of my teeth – and even despite how hard it’s been on my wife – it’s been hardest around the grandchildren. Because children are brutally honest and pull no punches. And apologies to the groups and organizations whose events I’ve missed over the past two weeks and into the rest of this week. Even though I’ve not been on death’s door, I’ve sort of been laying low and taking it easy and will continue to do so for the next few days. But let me say this…..if there are others out there struggling with a dental problem similar to mine and you are reading this….you should check into this. I’m hoping it’s solved my problems for life and will raise my quality of life considerably. And in about three months time, I’ll be eating burgers and pistachios and a huge smoked meat sandwich and pizza crust and apples and a whole lot of stuff I thought were gone forever. And I might even be able to play the clarinet again. Wow. Talk about revolutionary. Whew…..

We got talking the other day over coffee about the future of space science on planet earth. Apparently, there’s a big decision being made about whether to develop a habitat of some sort on the moon or whether to mount an expedition to Mars. And I’ve got to tell you I’m a bit disappointed with both of these scenarios. I wish we could actually get somewhere in this whole space thing. Right now, we can’t really go anywhere because we can’t go fast enough. It would take us a huge amount of time to get even a short distance in space. Somebody, somewhere on the planet needs to make a big scientific breakthrough that makes it so we can travel really fast in space. Something like warp drive on Star Trek…..So get at it all you scientist-type people….you can do it….

Out of time for another week. Sorry about the big rant about my teeth, but they’ve been on my mind…..Hope everything is going well in your world. Take care and remember….”Hew to the line; let the chips fall where they may.”



John Gardiner is a 25-year-veteran of the community newspaper business, but he is also a prolific writer of moralistic short fiction he refers to as "emotional thoughtscapes" or "adult fables". Samples of his fiction can be found at:

He has also produced a noteworthy piece of humanist philosophy which can be found at: http://www.xs4all.nl/~aboiten/ad502.htm He welcomes comments on his work.