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Notes from a Garage

With John Gardiner

And what about the power of positive thinking???

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

So, there I am watching TV again – I know, you're going to think that all I do is watch television when, actually, the reverse is quite true. Truth is I have a tiny TV in my smoking room and sometimes when I go down for a cigarette, I click on the TV and check out the action. This way, I see only small snippets of what's on the tube. For example, last week I caught a torrid love scene involving actual female nudity on the small box – didn't know that was allowed, but I guess I'm behind the times. Anyway, what I started out to mention was the ad for dishwashing detergent. More specifically, Palmolive Aromatherapy dishwashing detergent, and I kid you not, but it advertises that it relaxes you while you do the dishes – no kidding. The woman in the commercial is instantly transported into a field of waving purple flowers the minute she plunges her hands into the soapy dishwater, and, man, does she look relaxed – oh yeah, and she gets this strange, contented smile on her face. Relax while doing the dishes....strange, but true. So, there's also an ad for some type of pill – nexium, I think – and when you take it, you're also instantly transported to a field of waving, purple flowers and you also get a strange, contented smile on your face – I don't know what the pill actually does, but it appears to make you smile and be happy. Again, strange, but true. So, you can now wash dishes or take a tiny purple pill and you'll be relaxed and happy and released from the stress of the world. Does this ring of Brave New World to anyone? I mean, if you remember Brave New World by Alduous Huxley – that's back when people read important books and not just the crap that's out there today – you'll remember that the characters in that futuristic novel were forced by law to take their dosage of "happy" medication each day so that there was more peace in society. Are we on our way or what? Wait 'til George W. starts telling us to take our little purple pills each day so we'll feel better about fighting another war. Hey, maybe we could give our soldiers angry pills and they'd really kick butt. I'll tell you, folks, I'm worried. Things are headed in a very scary direction on this planet and you read it here first.

But, despite that, I remain the eternal optimist. I continue to believe that if we all started pulling together on Spaceship Earth, we'd have this vessel ship shape in no time. Remember what Marshall McLuhan had to say: "There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth; we're all crew". Much more true today than when he wrote it 40 years ago. It's like when I did my CFCO Good News Report this past weekend. There I was sitting out on my front porch with my big winter parka on, bundled up, cup of hot tea cradled in my hand and the phone on my shoulder. I told CFCO radio host Matt Thompson that I was going to do the report from my front porch every week now and to heck with the weather. I told him that if everyone in Chatham-Kent thought positively about the arrival of better weather, maybe we could "will" it into finally arriving. It's like creating a whole bunch of positive vibes right here in Chatham-Kent and sending them out and changing things just through the power of positive thinking. In fact, when Norman Vincent Peale wrote "The Power of Positive Thinking" back in the 1960's, he was just stealing a page from counter culture thinking. The hippies of the '60's had a profound belief in positive vibes. Remember Woodstock – the rain chant. That was trying to use positive vibes to change the weather . Remember the Beach Boys and "Good Vibrations" – there you go. Anyway, I was thinking that once we send out some positive vibes to bring on spring, maybe we could keep pushing them out there until finally they bring about world peace. That would be okay, eh?

How about the new Ernie Eves' ad on the TV? Doesn't Ernie look great? If the people of this province get collective amnesia again this election and again elect the Tories, I'm moving to the Duchy of Grand Fenwick. I am not living here any longer. It's time, folks. We've all saved a few bucks because of some tax cuts, but our education and health care systems are in total chaos, the streets are filled with poor people and and the province ain't exactly going in the same direction as I am. I don't know if you remember all the way back to 1995 when then Education Minister John Snobelen promised a crisis in education. I'm not sure what we've had for the last eight years, but crisis might describe it. I'm also wildly unhappy about the gradual and creeping privatization of our health care system. I'd like to see something done to put some controls on the gambling epidemic that's currently sweeping the land too. But what do I know. Call the election, Ernie – the race is already on.

Just to set the record straight – I'm not writing this from Florida. I am the only actual person left in Chatham-Kent this week. That's right – I'm driving around deserted streets and having coffee alone each morning. I'm ashamed of all you people. What's the matter – can't you stand a little fun in the snow? Take care on the drive home.

Out of time for another week. Had a great jam session at the house on Sunday featuring yours truly on bass, Rob Watson from Ridgetown on guitar and Tony Meriano from Tony's One-Stop Music on drums. I had a lot of fun and hope the other guys did too.

Don't forget to think positively about better weather. And remember, "Hew to the line; let the chips fall where they may."



John Gardiner is a 25-year-veteran of the community newspaper business, but he is also a prolific writer of moralistic short fiction he refers to as "emotional thoughtscapes" or "adult fables". Samples of his fiction can be found at:

He has also produced a noteworthy piece of humanist philosophy which can be found at: http://www.xs4all.nl/~aboiten/ad502.htm He welcomes comments on his work.